The Power of the Pause and the Hanged One
Contemporary art work following the RWS format from Lisa Sterle’s “Modern Witch Tarot”
Pause. Wait. Stop. Yellow Light. Hang on. For most of us, myself included, pausing can feel hard. I don’t mean a fun planned pause like a vacation (I’m great at and live for those!) but rather a pause when it wasn’t intended. One that has come up all of a sudden, or one that you anticipated but is lasting longer than you thought. Now in my 40s, I can look back at periods of my life and recognize that I was in a “pause state”. No true movement, even though I deeply desired it. Most of the desire for movement is because the pausing felt uncomfortable. It felt as if I should be progressing. Moving forward. Doing something (thanks capitalism!) In hand with that, also came the financial burden of unexpected pauses. I ask myself, if money were no issue, how would I handle a pausing point in my life? My personal answer is that I believe I would embrace it for a while, and then eventually, I would be burning internally for momentum.
Standing at the precipice of the exit door in my most recent experience with the waiting room, it feels more comfortable to write about it now. I’m learning that when I am in the midst of a period of pause, the colors and experiences whirling around me are too dense to express, and so, to formulate any type of coherent thought map, I have to wait (ah more waiting!) until I can see the illuminated exit sign. With this experience of waiting, and any time spent in limbo, we may turn to the “Hanged One”, more classically termed the “Hanged Man” in the Tarot. I have also seen this card referred to as “Suspension” in the “Next World Tarot” by Cristy C. Road. This renaming resonants as that is precisely its effect.
As number 12 in the Major Arcana, we find this card sitting neatly between Justice (11) and Death (13). If we think of Tarot as storytelling, we can travel the story arc as follows.
We come to terms with reality as it is and not as we would like it to be (Justice) and before we are able to let go of who we think we are, who we think society wants us to be by the dissolving of our ego (Death) we must prepare for it (The Hanged One). Just your typical Thursday right? 😂
Hardly.
These are dense circumstances to move through. I see the Hanged One as being a helper in preparing us for the moment of Death/Rebirth. We don’t tend to show up for a life changing party in our pajamas (I mean we can but why, when this is a moment of big change, think of graduation, a big move, retirement, wedding, the birth of a baby or even a business?) No, we get ready for it, especially if we are the ones hosting our big unveiling, and in this case, we are. A lot of thought and behind the scenes work goes into the big reveal moment. And while everyone else only sees the final product, we alone know just how much work went into planning every intricate detail of this moment. It wasn’t slapped together overnight. No. It took careful crafting, understanding your likes and dislikes, what you will tolerate and your non-negotiables to make this event reflect the authenticity of you.
While I’m having some fun with this one and comparing the Hanged One to the likes of a “Party Planning Committee for One”, the gravity of this card can vary for each person depending on what was asked and how this circumstance is currently playing out. For starters, life does not always feel like a party, (as an Enneagram 7 this deeply disappoints me, let me assure you!) Secondly, with a party, you have a set date for when it will happen. The waiting is tolerable as we know there will be an end to the heavy lifting. Now that we’ve stepped into the shallow end of this waiting pool, let's wade in a little deeper 🙂
The Hanged One in the Tarot, is about the waiting or the lack of movement and can also bring enlightenment or deep wisdom in the process. In addition, I have read about the correlations of this card being tied to the martyr, the one who sacrifices their own comfort for the greater good of society. The definition of marty is “a person who sacrifices something of great value and, especially life itself, for the sake of principle”. Some famous martyrs according to the world wide web are Jesus and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
While little would argue that they stood and died for their beliefs, the question we can ask ourselves is did they suffer when doing so? No one can really say but them, many may argue that they were enlightened and therefore have passed the suffering stage.
If we take the term “martyr” more colloquially, we often use this word to talk about someone who is needlessly suffering, as the reasons for their suffering seem to be irrelevant, and the point of focus being “They have no one to blame but themselves, as they are choosing to suffer. ”
I think this sounds harsh and I also view this as the more extreme case of the Hanged One, the one where the waiting feels excruciating to the point of suffering.
As the Buddha says “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional” as what we have concocted in our mind often outweighs the severity of the actual circumstance. This is not meant to downplay anyone’s lived experience, but rather to offer a view for which we can look at a pause in our lives and decide how we are going to view it. We control the narrative of the waiting room. It is through this lens that I view the Hanged One when it comes forward in a reading, or when I recognize that I am in a Hanged One period of life. Is it uncomfortable or even painful at times not knowing when the waiting will end? It most certainly can be. Is it suffering? It doesn’t need to be. Anyone who has had the Hanged One as a card that appears often, may be able to vouch for this.
Now for the other side of this…
The Hanged One gives us an opportunity to stop and evaluate. It asks, “How can we reflect on what has passed?” And when the time is right, “How can we take our first steps on the other side of this experience and walk with greater intentionality?” It gives us a chance to review the events that have led us up to this moment, and to explore the wisdom we have gained from them. In an unhurried manner, we may decide what we wish to remove from our carry-on bags before embarking on the next part of our trip. If we were rushed, and not given an opportunity to pause and reflect, we might inadvertently miss this chance to evaluate what truly matters to us. Allowing us to tap into our wisdom rather than moving through life on auto-pilot, the Hanged One implies that we will be better equipped to move forward in a way that is more aligned with who we are becoming.
In Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance” she beautifully writes about the art of the pause in Chapter Three titled “The Sacred Pause.” While it does not speak to an extended pause over the course of weeks, months or years, it touches upon the importance of the pause.
“ Pausing as a technique (for radical acceptance of the self ) may feel unfamiliar, awkward or at odds with our usual way of living. But actually there are many moments- showering, walking, driving- when we release our preoccupations and are simply aware and letting life be… Ajahn Buddhadasa calls these interludes of natural or purposeful pausing “temporary nirvana.” We touch the freedom that is possible in any moment when we are not grasping after our experience or resisting it. He writes that without such a moment of pausing “...living things would either die or become insane. Instead, we survive because there are natural periods of coolness, of wholeness and ease. In fact, they last longer than the fires of our grasping and fear. It is this that sustains us.”
Just as much as we need ambition, drive and movement, we equally need pausing. Pushing ourselves to no end, we would not survive. I can’t help but think how natural pausing was when I was a kid or even as a teenager and in my early 20s. When you were on line at the grocery store, or driving home in the car, there was no device to entertain you, it was a moment to pause and process your day. That simple pause, that many of us never realized was valuable, has been removed once we all started walking around with mini computers in our pockets, and now we are constantly “on”. I believe we have reached the juncture in history when many of us are fatiguing from the absence of these small pauses we used to find throughout our day. Now rather than them organically being there, we intentionally create them for ourselves. Not that there's anything wrong with intentionally creating time to stop and process, just something for us to explore. What would it be like if we allowed for more pausing during our day? Just a few minutes at a time throughout. I wonder how we all would feel.
Reflection Questions
A few reflection questions to be used as a spread, though journaling, or even something you may ask yourself before falling asleep if you find your gain insight in that way:
1. “What benefit may I find in this pause that I am not able to see?”
2. “What is asking to be released during this pause?”
3. “How can I best tend to my mind?”
4. “How can I best tend to my body?”
5. “What is my superpower during this period of pause that I can lean into when things feel tough?”
May we welcome a pause in our lives for however long it must be with us and find the messages within the stillness. See you on the other side!